Ads in milk are nothing new. The thick, viscous, fairly unsettling “milk mustaches” featured in the California Milk Producer’s “Got Milk?” campaign started 21-years ago in 1993, which was merely a reboot of the, “Milk, it Does a Body Good” campaign of the 1980s.  For an entire generation now the dairy industry has advertised that milk is the best way to get protein and calcium into your body, and it appears that the trend is only going to continue…with pin-ups wearing milk dresses?

She looks confused. She feels our pain.

Fast Company

The ads were designed for Coca Cola’s new brand of milk, Fairlife. Yes, you read that correctly. Coca Cola, the maker of that stuff you can clean your golf clubs with, has gone into the milk business. A joint venture between Coca Cola and Select Milk Producers, Fairlife was born in 2012. The ads boast that it contains 50 percent more calcium and protein than conventional milk due to a filtration process that basically weeds out extra stuff, leaving a higher concentration of the macro nutrient and mineral.

That seems pretty thoughtful of them. Seriously, with the average American consuming almost double the Food and Nutrition Board’s daily recommended intake of protein every day already, we should all be trying to find ways to make foods more concentrated in it. In case you can’t tell, the sarcasm is dripping here more than this models milk dress.

Does it look like she’s…? Is it supposed to…? WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE?!

Fast Company


Considering that they’ve gone to the trouble of upping the protein and calcium content for us, it seems only fair that Fairlife will retail at double the price of conventional milk. Hey, excess protein and calcium ain’t cheap people! Unless, of course, you get it from kale, tofu, legumes, chia seeds or any of the other whole, inexpensive, nutrient-rich plant sources that lack the saturated fat, caloric density and antibiotics you get with a big, ole glass of the white stuff.


We don’t wanna sound puritanical or anything, but that outfit seems a little, well, moist for a playground. Just sayin’.

First We Feast

Coca Cola has experience with taking a product, “upping” the nutritional content, calling it premium and sticking a hefty price tag on it. Their Vitamin Water brand thoughtfully adds vitamins and minerals to a bottle of water that you can easily get from, you know, food. They also own the Simply brand of juices, a product that they hope their new milk mimics in terms of profitability.

“It’s basically the premiumization of milk. “President of Coca Cola North America, Sandy Douglas said. “Our ambition there is to create the Simply of milk.” Douglas goes on to say, “Now to be clear, we’re going to be investing in the milk business for awhile to build the brand, so it won’t rain money in the early couple of years. But, like Simply, when you do it well it rains money later.”

Was it raining milk the day she went out for this bike ride? Because that would explain some things.

Fast Company

Sounds awesome. Consumers paying double the price for a product that they don’t need in order to meet their nutritional needs so it can “rain money” on a multi-million dollar corporation. Can anyone say, “Got Ridiculousness?”

Lead Image Credit: Sir Lounge