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What You Should Know About Cow Hug Therapy

Cow hug therapy was started in 1999 because of The Gentle Barn’s very first cow, Buddha. Each evening, I checked on the animals before bedtime. One night, shortly after Buddha’s arrival, I counted the chickens and turkeys and made sure that they were all safely on their roosts, tucked the pigs into bed with blankets, gave the goats, sheep, and horses cookies to make sure they were all feeling well, and kissed Buddha on her head as I was about to walk out the barnyard gate. Buddha was lying down and looked up at me and asked for me to stay. I sat beside her and rested my back against her shoulder, and what she did next changed my life and the future of The Gentle Barn. Buddha wrapped her neck around me and hugged me!

A Gentle Reliance

I came to rely on those hugs every evening. They washed away the day and made me stronger for the next morning. In time, I realized that this very unique brand of healing needed to be shared with other hurting humans. I reached out to the drug and alcohol rehab centers, homeless shelters, domestic violence shelters, senior centers, war veteran centers, classes for those with disabilities, and foster agencies and they started bringing their clients and residents to The Gentle Barn for healing. Many clients came in defeated, depressed, shut down, and angry, with heads hung low and no eye contact. By the time they hugged Buddha, their defensive faces melted, their eyes were bright, they were smiling, and they held their heads high. Buddha’s hugs changed their lives along with mine, and cow hug therapy became a staple of healing at The Gentle Barn for the community.

The Therapy Grew Naturally

We have been using cow hug therapy for hurting humans now for 25 years. I thought that perhaps these healing hugs were unique to Buddha, but as time went on and we rescued more cows, we saw that once they were healed and felt safe, they chose to extend the same brand of healing to hurting humans. Cow hug therapy is just as impactful for adults and children, males and females, and people who are angry and sad, traumatized or grieving. We have had guests drive for days just to get here. We have had visitors come just because they love cows, parents who have lost children, folks who have survived terminal illnesses, and people at the end of their lives coming to check cow hugs off their bucket lists. We have had people who were severely depressed, suffered from anxiety, and had suicidal ideations. We have been referred by therapists, grief Support groups, agencies, and animal lovers alike. The results have been the same for all our guests, in all three Gentle Barn locations. People leave feeling more connected, calmer, stronger, and more hopeful.

Before the pandemic, we brought every guest during our open Sundays, private tours, field trips, and from agencies to hug our cows. After the pandemic, knowing that everyone is having a hard time, we extended cow hug therapy to all individuals. Anyone who is hurting or needs a good hug can book a cow hug therapy session at any of our three locations and can reap the benefits of nonverbal, gentle, nurturing healing.

The Therapists Need Healing, Too

Not every cow can be a cow hug therapist. Young cows will need time to grow, play, socialize, spend time with their mommies, nurse, and explore the world. Just like we would not ask a teenage human to be a therapist, young cows need to grow up first. Cows need to go through their own healing before they have anything to offer hurting humans. The best human therapists are those who have gone through their own trauma, have healed, found themselves, forgiven the past, and then have wisdom and insight to offer others. Cows are the same. The cows that we save need to go through their own rehabilitation, learn to trust and forgive, and then when they are ready, can choose to heal hurting humans if they want to. At The Gentle Barn, being a cow hug therapist is always their choice. We have been contacted by dairies who want to convert their cows into cow hug therapists, and we let them know that while cows are living in fear, they can’t heal anyone else. Cows need to have shelter, fresh food, gentle handling, other bovine friends and family, and feel completely safe before being able to choose this work.

Not all humans can do this work. To bring hurting humans to heal with cows, we have to trust the cows completely. They are not doing a trick or performing a task that we taught them to do. Cow hug therapy is something that a cow chooses to do when they are ready. They bring hurting humans into the fold of their family and extend the same nurturing toward them as they do the rest of the bovine family. The cows not only choose to do this healing work but know exactly what the person needs. Sometimes, people need to laugh, and the cows will do something silly and adorable and make the person smile and laugh. Other times, the person needs to be still and grounded, and the cow holds still, offering a safe place for the person to land. Often, our guests are hurting deeply, and the cows will hug them with their necks and give their focus and energy completely to that person. To partner with these cow hug therapists, we cannot treat them like “cows” or try to control them, but rather we need to trust them like the esteemed, capable colleagues that they are. At The Gentle Barn, we introduce the cows and get out of their way so they can be brilliant.

An Addition to Traditional Therapy

Cow hug therapy complements traditional therapy. There are many times when a client in therapy does not want to talk because they are shut down or angry. Traditional therapy can stall if the client is not willing to talk. Coming for a cow hug therapy session can assist the therapist in jump-starting their process, allowing the person to heal without words, and giving the therapist and client something to talk about and relate to from the cow hug session.

The Things Cow Hug Therapy Helps

Cow hug therapy is great for recovering from grief and loss. When we are grieving, talking about the pain might not always help. We are inconsolable and don’t know what to do or who to turn to. Instead of trying to analyze the experience, embracing a cow, feeling their healing energy, and receiving healing instead of talking works wonders. Oftentimes, the cow they are hugging has lost loved ones, as well, and knows what the person is going through. At The Gentle Barn, we have seen so many guests who are grieving the loss of a loved one and don’t know how to heal but feel strengthened after being here.

Cow hug therapy is great for trauma recovery. Just like grief, many who have suffered severe trauma do not want to talk about it or might not even remember it. Without words or expectations, our guests can feel love and acceptance, have a safe space to land and be seen, and feel healed by our cows.

Cow hug therapy is great for anyone who suffers from depression and anxiety. Post-pandemic, with so much violence, suffering, and hardship going on in the world, many of us suffer from depression and anxiety and have no idea how to talk about it. Without embarrassment or shame, they can receive a cow hug, feel accepted, and leave feeling not so alone and much more hopeful.

Cow hug therapy is the only way to feel like an infant again. When we are infants held against our caregiver’s chest, we can hear their heartbeat, rise and fall with their breathing, and feel small, vulnerable, and open against a warm, protective frame. When we grow up, there is nothing else that mimics that feeling. We can hold our dogs, cuddle our cats, walk or ride our horses, but we are ultimately in a leadership role with our smaller animals. In Cow Hug Therapy, we can rest our faces against the cows’ side, close our eyes, hear their heartbeat, slow down our own breathing to match theirs, rise and fall with their breathing, and feel vulnerable against a giant, nurturing frame. That is where healing starts!

People can find out more about cow hug therapy, book a session, and visit our cows at GentleBarn.org.