Trying to cut through all of SeaWorld’s lies about what their captive whale and dolphins really experience, and get to the truth of the matter, is undoubtedly an exhausting process. The anger and helplessness that arises when we hear of how orca mothers are separated from their calves, or how their captive animals become too depressed to function, can all too easily leave a Green Monster burnt out. Sometimes, the best way to deal with SeaWorld’s ludicrous myths is to meet them with a little touch of humor.

Saturday Night Live (SNL) recently took this approach by releasing a hilarious skit which slammed SeaWorld’s cruel confinement of its captive whales and dolphins. And now, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) has produced a new thirty-second YouTube clip, If SeaWorld Commercials Told the Truth, in which two Seaworld “professionals” (their official job titles are “Fish Doctor and Stuff” and “Orca Masturbator”!) talk us through what a SeaWorld commercial should really say.


You are guaranteed to chuckle when you hear them conclude, “Our business is failing … but come to our park and we’ll tell you a bunch of lies! Because if we told you the truth, you wouldn’t come.” Sometimes, you just gotta laugh at the madness of it all.