So There Are No Almonds in Almond Milk? Here's How to Make the Real Deal

I’m going to go out on a limb here and assume that most of you have never milked an almond. It’s pretty out there, even for me (but I grew up in a teepee so I don’t know why I just said that). I’ve heard of people doing it but I always thought these people to be way cooler than me (and for some reason skinny, tanned, and wearing a perpetual sarong, even in winter). The good people making their own nut milk for sure have a copy of “Wild Fermentation” sitting on their kitchen table, at least two dream catchers in their house, a bottle of homemade hooch under their kitchen sink (you guys, I don’t know why it’s under their sink), and definitely only drink from Mason Jars. My nut milk makers are most probably named Stella, Lux, and Vita, and for some reason, the Velvet Underground is playing in the background and they are all holding hands. Well playas, I’m here to tell you that normal people can make Almond Milk. And frankly, it is absolutely delicious. Here is my basic recipe. Try it. It’s not scary, I promise.