Being much older and much more disillusioned, I can no longer enjoy these jiggling, cruelty-laden treats. Sadly, this has resulted in those childhood cookie cutters falling so deep into the void of my family’s basement that I can no longer find them. Wanting to partake in at least one quintessential holiday tradition, I bought some cookie cutters and made some vegan holiday cookies instead.

Holiday Chocolate Coconut Cookies [Vegan, Gluten-Free]



  • 1/2 c. coconut milk (the kind that comes in a can)
  • 2 T. pumpkin puree (or buttercup squash, my new favorite food)
  • 1/4 c. oat flour
  • 1/4 c. coconut flour
  • 2T. vital wheat gluten (for gluten-free, substitute this with ground chia or flax seed)
  • 3/4 t. baking powder
  • 1 T. of cocoa powder
  • Sweeteners (optional)
  • For the frosting: 1 T. vanilla protein powder, 1 t. coconut flour, coconut milk, and sweeteners of choice


  1. In a medium bowl, mix the dry ingredients.
  2. Form a well in the center and pour in the coconut milk and pumpkin puree. Gradually mix these into the dry ingredients until you have a loose dough.
  3. Turn it out onto a board, mat, etc that’s either non-stick (I used a silicone baking mat), dusted with flour or sprayed with cooking spray. The dough should be sticky and slightly hard to knead, but have at it anyway.
  4. Once it begins to hold together, shape it into a ball and stick it in the fridge for 45 minutes to an hour. If you don’t feel like kneading you can mix it, shape it into a ball, cover it and let it sit in the fridge overnight. It should thicken up by then.
  5. Pull the dough out of the fridge and roll it to about 1/2″ thick. Dip your cookie cutters in powdered stevia (or spray them with some nonstick spray) and cut out as many shapes as you can fit.
  6. You’ll probably have some “trash,” which you can just reshape into a ball and repeat the above step with.
  7. Once everything’s rolled and cut, spray a cookie sheet with cooking spray and put the cookies on it, leaving a little bit of room between them. I like to brush each one with a little bit of coconut milk or water and sprinkle with powdered stevia before baking, but it’s not required.
  8. Bake at 375 degrees F for about 15-20 minutes. If you’re using a dark pan, bake at 350*F for about 25 minutes.
  9. While the cookies are baking, mix the protein powder and coconut flour with enough coconut milk to make a paste. If you add too much milk, you can add some thickener. Sweeten to taste with stevia (I used liquid here) or sweetener of choice.
  10. Cool the cookies and frost (preferably not with a spoon like I did).