Sarah Palin lashed out at PETA on her Facebook page after the group called the former governor of Alaska out for a New Year’s Day picture featuring her six-year-old son standing on the family dog.

In case you missed it, Palin posted the picture of the boy standing on the dog in an effort to reach the sink. Palin likened it to finding a “stepping stone” to overcome life’s obstacles. Backlash against the photo was swift and immediate amongst followers of her page, with many people leaving comments voicing outrage at her lack of concern for either the dog or her son’s safety.

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Palin, never one to leave a situation without a tirade that loosely brings Barrack Obama into the fray, defended her family’s disbelief in the purchase of stools by launching an attack on PETA for accusing her of animal abuse. Her opening parry? “Dear PETA, Chill. At least Trig didn’t eat the dog.”

Um, what?

No, but, see it makes it all better cuz, like, it could have been waaaay worse. You know?

Sarah Palin to Enraged Animal Lovers: "Chill, At Least My Son Didn't Eat The Dog!"Huffington Post

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She continued her rant by accusing PETA of employing double standards for not also going after Barrack Obama when he revealed in his memoir that he ate dog meat as a boy growing up in Indonesia. She also cried hypocrisy for the organizations opposition of the Iditarod, while advocating for pet guardianship and in a paragraph desperately begging for a comma, declared….

“Aren’t you the same anti-beef screamers blogging hate from your comfy leather office chairs, wrapped in your fashionable leather belts above your kickin’ new leather pumps you bought because your celebrity idols (who sport fur and crocodile purses) grinned in a tabloid wearing the exact same Louboutins exiting sleek cowhide covered limo seats on their way to some liberal fundraiser shindig at some sushi bar that features poor dead smelly roe (that I used to strip from our Bristol Bay-caught fish, and in a Dillingham cannery I packed those castoff fish eggs for you while laughing with co-workers about the suckers paying absurdly high prices to party with the throw away parts of our wild seafood)?”

Did you catch all that? Yeah, we’re pretty confused too. Clearly the plan of attack in dealing with the public outcry that followed her likening her pet to a step ladder was to deflect attention, instead of commit to a touch of introspection. Sadly, it doesn’t appear to have been very successful as she kinda seems to have no idea who PETA actually is.

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The best defense is a good offense, or in this case, randomly come up with a way to plug how much you hate the president.

Sarah Palin to Enraged Animal Lovers: "Chill, At Least My Son Didn't Eat The Dog!"H2O Wireless

“Palin’s Facebook response shows us that she knows PETA about as well as she knows geography,” quipped PETA in response to Palin’s tirade. After going on to explain why they oppose the Iditarod, they continued by saying, “we’re a vegan organization, so we sit on pleather couches, wear stylish vegan kicks, and consider fish friends, not food. (Also, by the way, we just sent a case of vegan caviar to Vladimir Putin—and no, you can’t see his house from yours, Ms. Palin.)

Zing! In all seriousness, Palin’s response serves as a perfect companion to her original post in that it belies an utter cluelessness surrounding animal issues or the people that fight for them. Not only were people initially upset by the sight of a dog being stepped on by a little boy, but also that children should be taught that animals are sentient beings and not inanimate household items. Her post proved that was not a lesson being actively taught in that moment and her response, well, we have no idea where she was going with that.

To quote the great piece of American cinematic brilliance that is Billy Madison, “At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.”

Hey, Sarah…

Sarah Palin to Enraged Animal Lovers: "Chill, At Least My Son Didn't Eat The Dog!"Twitter

Lead Image Credit: Wupr